That's What Shar Said

7.21.2010

How To Cover A Plain Ol' Lamp Shade With Fabric, Part 1 of 1

Get yer plain ol' lamp shade. Mine is a simple white one from Target.

Also, make sure your point-and-shoot is only partially charged, so that you miss some pictures of steps during the process.

Get some wrapping paper or a newspaper, ( I chose wrapping paper because we don't get the paper. Why? Because it piles up on our driveway. Then we look too lazy to go out and get the paper. 'Cause we are. Also, I read my news online.) put the lamp shade down on the seam, and roll and trace with a pencil the bottom of the shade on to the wrapping paper until you reach the seam again. Then put it back and trace the top. Easy peasy. I extended my arcs about 1 inch on both sides. Then I drew a straight line with a ruler between the arcs.

Then, cut it out.

Then pin it on to the wrong side of your fabric.

Cut your fabric out, leaving about an inch all the way around. You'll have extra fabric, but it's better than not having enough. Duh.

Also, take of picture of your knees, sitting Indian style. So in 50 years, when you look back at the date of when you posted this, you'll know you were still flexible enough and still had your original knee caps to be able to sit like that. Boo yah!

If your fabric has been sitting in your fabric cupboard FOREVER, iron it out so it's nice and smooth.

Funny iron story: We had lived in our house for about a year when I went to iron a shirt for my husband. ( ? Or maybe I was doing a sewing project? Not sure.) I looked in all the laundry room cupboards and could not find the iron anywhere. I thought it might have gotten lost in the move. Then I remembered that we have a special iron cupboard that is 6 inches from my dryer. Right in front of me as I walk into the laundry room. One that the dryer door hits every time I do a laundry change. So, I open it, and there is my iron, a timer light, and holy crap! even a pull out ironing board! THAT RIGHT THERE, folks, is how often I iron.

Also, it tells you that my husband and sons look like wrinkled ragamuffins all the time. I don't buy clothes that require ironing, so I just look like a ragamuffin. So Nate learned to buy wrinkle-free dress shirts. Smart, smart man.

And then I skipped some steps in pictures because my camera was charging.

Next, take your fabric, turn it right side down, and with newspaper or cardboard underneath, spray on some spray glue, evenly over your fabric. (I used Elmer's Craft Spray glue, or something like that) It's probably a good idea to test your fabric before you spray, to make sure you don't have any discoloration.
{insert make-believe picture of me spraying glue on fabric}

Then, placing your fabric edge on the seam, start rolling your lamp shade onto your fabric, smoothing it out towards the top and bottom as you go. You have to move quickly because the spray glue dries quickly.
{Even if my camera was charged, there was no way to take a picture by myself while doing this. And if I asked my husband, he'd probably just take a picture of my boobs. 'Cause he thinks he's funny.}

You'll have some overhang of fabric on the top and bottom. I trimmed mine to about 1/2 inch. Enough to fold over and cover what was underneath.
{insert picture of me trimming fabric}

Also, on the seam of the shade, trim the fabric to about 1 inch overhang. Then, carefully fold the fabric to make a nice seam and glue gun it down. Easy.
{insert folding and glue gunning picture}

Then, run your glue gun on the inside seam of the shade, fold over the fabric and press it down with your finger.

Then do it on the top also.

Then, take a badly lit picture of your finished project with a red piggy bank!

Pat yourself on the back for not screwing it up.

Go get yourself an ice-cold drink. You've worked long and hard.

The End.

Approximate project time: 15 minutes

7.19.2010

Pull out my 9 and bust a cap

Oh yeah, that's me holding a machine gun and Adrienne holding an AR-15.
Just normal everyday stuff.
We gangsta.

With some friends this weekend, we went shooting out in the hills. We shot at a metal sign, (probably said something like NO SHOOTING on it) and a cardboard box. Also, exploding targets. They are as cool as they sound.

Shooting the machine gun was unreal. So fun. I've never shot a fully automatic gun and it was crazy. You go through 30 rounds in about 8 seconds.

I also got to shoot my Mother's Day present. A little Kel Tec .32 that looks like this:

Isn't it cute?

Some people are so freaked out by guns. I feel comfortable around them because my dad has taken me shooting since I was a little girl. We've always had guns. Of course, the more I go out and shoot, the more comfortable I feel. And knowing gun safety is a must.

Adrienne and I are dead eye's. So are our husbands. I pity the fool that ever breaks into my home with the intent to harm me or my family. Seriously.

Do you own firearms?
Have you shot a gun?
How do you feel about them?
Just curious.